My life experience has taught me that some apologies are sincere and should be accepted fully.
Once I accept an apology I believe it is my responsibility to move beyond whatever precipitated the need for “I’m sorry.”
A sincere apology should absolve hurt and restore truth. I don’t feel it is my place to hold you under the thumb of “just like the time you…” or “dont think I forgot that you…”
I tend not to revisit the offense or allude to it providing you leave it alone too.
To me, apologies are as valuable as money and should not be wasted foolishly.
My accepting your apology with conditions impedes on the peace I am granted from forgiveness.
This is why I am so “picky” about apologies.
It has also been my experience that people toss about the idea of apologies like used tissues, discarding the sanctity of it for a quick end to an argument or to avoid fully facing and accepting responsibilities for their actions.
There would be no need to apologize if we all check our actions before the need arises.
When you are loose and careless with your words and deeds because you aren’t disciplined enough not to fall into the antics of group dynamics and you’re called out because of it. An apology is moot.
(translation: apologizing just because you got busted is wack)
The rushed “sorry, sorry, sorry, dang, okay” spoken over objections to your bad behavior, is unacceptable.
The whole “I’m sorry (pause, sigh) OKAY” scenario is rarely a gold star getter. Remember when Martin finally proposed to Gina? “Okay Gina, you win, I’ll marry you, daaaamn!” Yeah, saying.okay after “I’m sorry.” Same effect.
Giving an apology when you don’t see the need is a tricky situation to deal with. There are deep rooted issues that you both (or all) probably need to delve into.
Some people see apologies as a weakness. They often equate the word “sorry” for “worthless” and find it difficult to say because in their minds they’re saying “I’m worthless.”
I blame that on parents who insist on calling their children “sorry little bastards” this can be confusing when the child grows up to have their wife or husband shouting at them “all you have to say is I’m sorry!”
Although apologies can be an acknowledgement of a failure of sorts, that doesn’t embody you within the failure.
I feel sorry for those of you who feel that way.
Separate yourself from the thing that failed. It failed, you will succeed in trying again or trying something else.
I’ve found that people also rush to apology to quickly arrive at the forgiveness stage because they are embarrassed by being in a situation which will now cause their bad behavior to be analyzed.
How can you truly be sorry if you don’t know how your actions affected the person you’ve offended?
Avoidance of tough conversations, deep introspection, and fear of the outcome have weakened men and women so they lean on the crutch of hollow apologies.
“I’m sorry” has turned into a wet bandage wrapped around a gaping wound; but it isn’t a proper tourniquet to stop emotional bleeding.
The prescription to stop infection lies between the offense and exploratory conversation.
If you find yourself in a position where an apology is warranted, spend some time talking, brace for the possibility of confrontation, find a way to communicate.
The need for an apology typically stems from a disruption or distortion of truth.
Apologies won’t always soothe the person offended but that’s okay, they aren’t solely designed for the other person.
The goal is to put you back into an honest space within yourself.
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