I woke up today with a stuffy head and sore muscles. Still weary from whatever bug invaded my body over the weekend I realized I’d eaten nothing yesterday and was pretty sure I slept through Saturday and missed some meals. Feeling less weak than the day before, I decided to walk to Baltimore Ave. and have breakfast. After all, I am a strong Black woman, independent and self sufficient. A little sickness won’t get me down.
By the time I reached my favorite cafe I was beginning to sweat. Not from the heat but because I should have never left my bed. I sat at my table trembling, fanning myself, hair drenched, face dripping water, looking like menopause slapped me in the forehead with a wet sponge.
I pulled it together, had a cup of coffee and a big breakfast my stomach was not prepared to entertain.
It was the longest walk home.
Suffice it to say I am back in my bed where I belong.
I loathe being ill. Primarily because everytime I have gotten sick in the past four years I am reminded how my baby (RIP Charles) would cater to my needs and I miss that. Being sick is a reminder of being alone, which is a reminder that people weren’t created to walk this earth separately. We each have a helpmate out there. But somewhere along the way it became fashionable to claim independence from each other. This self righteous chant has caused irrevocable harm to male female relationships.
What is it that compels women to push forward in a senseless act of heroism we clearly aren’t designed for?
To all you wanna be super women I say “shut up”, “sit down” and “stop talking” it is precisely these farfetched independent anthems that keep us both sick and alone.
There is a vast difference between being self sufficient and claiming you don’t need a man because of your independence.
I’m at a place where I’m on deck to build on a strong relationship so I won’t go through these weak moments by myself. I can’t cuddle up with an anthem and neither can you. Strong? Independent? What pride is there in claiming these monstrously off putting characteristics?
If Allah (swt)/God had meant for us to be independent we would actually be independent. We’re not, we are interdependent for a reason.
Our strength is in being vulnerable enough to admit it.