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Table for One


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My friends have been gently nodding me into the direction of dating. “Get out and have some fun girl” “you need a man” “Its time to move on”  “why don’t you get with so and so” or “what are you waiting for, you know so and so likes you.” The best comments are “you’re beautiful, you
shouldn’t be alone.”
Its been 4 years and I haven’t been in one steady relationsip. After year 3 I felt I might be ready to at least dip my big toe into the mating pool.

I have had some decent encounters, some nice lunches and interesting moments a bit too none of your business for this particular blog. But the bottom line is – no relationships. No guaranteed movie nights or pick ups from work for dinner, no regular phone calls or random “thinking about you” text messages and no leisurely nights spent at his house or mine.

I have friends who have met men online so after several debates, I relented and decided to sit with my best friend to “see what’s out there.”

Oh my god, there’s literally nothing out there.

We scrolled through profile after profile, photo after photo and laughed click after click.

I can’t believe the madness that I found on a few dating “websites” – there is just no way I can see finding a suitable man in the deceptive world found inside the pages of a online dating website. I love to write but filling out a profile turned out to be the beginning of the end of this mistake. How am I supposed to tell you everything I’m looking for in my life? All that I want in a man, and my expectations in 187 characters?

That is the type of thing you have to delve into moment by moment. Date by date, not spewed out in a block of text that’s going to be ignored anyway.

People are looking at photos. Not reading your bio.

How many of these men are looking for a real relationship? How many are looking for victims? How many are looking for another notch on their belt? As we continued to look, my laughter turned into incredible dismay. Finally I waved the white flag, thanked my friends and unplugged the online dating idea.

The question remains, with my hectic schedule; what am I going to do to start dating? I don’t go out. I don’t socialize and I work too much. Its not on purpose but I have cut myself from the world by my own actions.

What will I do to change my circumstances? I have no clue. I just know a chance encounter on the street with a complete stranger, whose eyes I can look into, voice I can hear and mannerisms I can try to decipher in real time is much more desireable to me than a dewey decimal system electronic dating catalog card game.

Until then I will happily reserve a table for one.

About The "SoKey" Experience

Each morning I wake I pour myself into a goblet, slowly inhaling the scent of my own faults, swirling them around the glass, allowing them to breath, then I sip, allowing my own inconsistencies to soak my tongue before swallowing. If I am tipsy from my own frailties - I'm less likely to become drunk on yours. -SoKey (introspection)

Discussion

4 thoughts on “Table for One

  1. Dating truly is whatever you want to make it, unless you go in wanting to find Mr perfect before your eggs boil. At the very least, one should enjoy another person’s company.

    I’ve written about this often as it’s close to my heart, but the common thread is to take responsibility for everything when it involves someone else. If you decide to do something, do it for YOU…. If you made a bad decision, take the blame, learn from it, and move on. When in dating mode, keep it simple – is this person on date #1 interesting enough to make plans for #2? That’s it. No deeper.

    If this is food for thought, a few more meals can be had at tomsmiscramblings.blogspot.com

    Hope you enjoy.

    Tom

    Like

    Posted by Thomas Welcomer | August 3, 2014, 9:47 pm
  2. Well, “Get out and have some fun girl” and “you need a man” aren’t necessarily the same thing… You can get security, comfort, compassion and support from others in your circle. You’d then have to decide if you can get your ummm personal gratification isolated from that.

    Like

    Posted by Anonymous | August 5, 2014, 9:56 am
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    Like

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