WARNING: Contains graphic language
“Sticks and stones my break my bones but words will never hurt me.”
Can you remember singing this line as a child? It’s a catchy little ditty that children memorize and somehow have been able to use as a nasty little turn your lips up and stick your hands on your hip little anthem. It’s supposed to instill a sense of protection against the tirade of a school bully and it probably worked, in the 1950’s before NC17, oddball cartoons and streaming videos.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”
Words can hurt you. Words are thoughts which have the ability to manifest in a physical form. “I hate you” must come before the action of hurting you. You say it or think it. You can attempt to fool yourself by telling people “I never said that” but you thought it and you can’t think without words. Go ahead. Try it. I’ll wait.
This seemingly banal phrase causes the biggest disservice to people mentally affected by harsh words and name calling. It causes a conflict within the mind of a person suffering at the hands of a verbally abusive mate, so-called friend and most especially a parent.
How many times do you think your girlfriend is going to be referred to as a bitch before she decides to leave you? “Fuck you, I don’t care, I’m done, I don’t want you anyway. You stupid bitch, cunt, whore, dick-sucking slut” So what you don’t hit her, you’ve struck her with a negative image of what you think of her and what self-respecting woman wouldn’t choose her worth over your words? She will leave you standing there alone with your dick in your hand pleading “but I was just mad, I didn’t mean it” In her mind she has to justify staying with a man who must think of her as a myriad of sexual taboos because it flows too easily from his untamed mouth.
Will you keep a man’s temper in check by constantly reminding him of his every mistake he’s ever made? Repeating his failures with your own brand of carefully calculated cruelty? “That’s why” is the biggest precursor to domestic disputes. “That’s why you’re broke ass is broke.” “That’s why you ain’t got no job” “That’s why I’m fucking him instead of you” “That’s why I’m fucking your friend” “That’s why I hate you.” “That’s why you’re a bitch, punk, faggot, pussy, broke ass, weak, impotent, redneck, nigger, bum…”
How many children meet adolescence with a murderous temper because to their mother they were a “sorry little mother fucker? “Just like your sorry ass daddy!” A “stupid ass“or a “dumb nigger” or just a “nigger” Yet when the child does something to make the headline news you can’t understand how your child who “wasn’t raised like that” could do something so inconceivably evil.
Smack. Confusion. Words. Pain. Words. Hurt. Words. Death.
Words hurt so much that we vapidly try to “reclaim” the hurt by proudly claiming we are these damaging things. We think we’re taking the power away but we aren’t. We are taking on the pain and being weighted by the negativity of the original meaning. It’s an invisible deception with deep rooted repercussions.
You can’t serve two masters.
Raw anger is not an excuse for throwing personal responsibility to the wind. Raw anger and harsh words have caused riots, wars and death.
Words seep deep inside your psyche where they reside in the core of your emotional well-being. They can lift you to the heavens or drag you into the depths of a hellish existence. If you’ve ever broken a bone or given birth I’m sure you remember that it was painful; but can you bring to the surface the actual feeling of pain? Most likely not, but I’m sure you can easily relive the feeling of harsh words, that argument, that name you were called, that moment you looked into the eyes of someone you loved as you swallowed the harsh words they spit in your face. You will tear or flare up at the mere thought. So choose your words carefully and be responsible for the energy you put into the atmosphere. You are in control.
Sticks and stones can break you bones but words will break your spirit.