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Healing, Just Thinking, Rant Hill, Uncategorized, What IS That!

Boys Will Be Boys

When you say what Donald Trump said was just “locker room talk” you are a relic. 

When you dismiss his words as “locker room talk” you do a disservice to women. 

All women but especially those of us who have been sexually assaulted. 

(Let me take a moment for all the men and sadly some women who will reject my opinion due to me probably being a bitter broken woman…are they gone yet? Okay) 

Aside: That stance is a shame because if you knew how strong I have become you would see my point.

I was a teenager when I was raped and there is irreparable harm done not only to a woman’s physique but her psyche as well. 

My experience is not a bedtime story to be recounted but what I can tell you is following the aftermath of rape I failed at basic operations in life (including speech) because of my days spent as an object of power in some mans warped mind. 

Yes I am a survivor but it is a long laboring climb out that rocky place of darkness and a longer journey to that oftentimes elusive place called recovery and healing. 

I was a teenager then. I am a woman now who still has to contend with the occasional male predator. 

Trumps words weren’t about sex and this isn’t about Trump vs. Hilary, I’m not discussing the election. I am talking about the character of the male mindset. 

Using male dominance with a woman to do “whatever you want, whatever you want” is about power, not sex; using celebrity to “be attracted to beautiful…kiss her…don’t even wait… grab her p*$$%…” is not about respect or admiration; popping a tic tac “in case I start kissing her” (versus “in case she kisses me”) is frightfully telling. 

Failing to have even a whisp of contrition when you have been revealed, dragging the ugliness of what the other boys in your illegal locker room have done then dismissing your behavior as lite banter while somehow blaming a woman for her own husbands despicable behavior as if ANY of you are permissible human beings is unconscionable. 

This whole news cycle sickens me. 

Trump in what he thought were the privacy of his words manifested into Billy Bushs instigating actions “how about a hug for the Donald…how about a hug for me” (male predatory behavior to see how compliant a woman is even through her discomfort) is exactly where on the dangerous road to rape resides.

Me? I’ve come to terms with what happened in my life. But the feathers of recovery get ruffled when men so cavalierly dismiss bad behavior with a “boys will be boys” stupidity. 

They will be boys but whose teaching them how?


Iya Isoke is Poet Laureate, Emeritus for the City of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
She lives in Philadelphia where she works, plays and observes the subtle nuances of life.
Then writes about it.
She can be reached at 
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About The "SoKey" Experience

Each morning I wake I pour myself into a goblet, slowly inhaling the scent of my own faults, swirling them around the glass, allowing them to breath, then I sip, allowing my own inconsistencies to soak my tongue before swallowing. If I am tipsy from my own frailties - I'm less likely to become drunk on yours. -SoKey (introspection)


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